Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Tuesday, December 07, 2010

Completely Exhausted

Submitted my 2nd thesis draft yesterday.. how badly delayed the whole PhD has been.. should have submitted the first complete draft in September, the 2nd in Oct, and had time for a 3rd and final reading in Nov.. but as it is, yesterday's paper was at least 20-30% short of completion.. Sigh.. =(

Taking a breather from thesis for the rest of the week to work on Platform.. it's hard to tell whether it's better to finish that 20-30% NOW and forget the journal paper.. or try to get the paper out anyways and hope the thesis won't suffer as much..

Wonder why it's hardest at the end.. shouldn't it be the easiest.. since I 'supposedly' have spent 3yrs+ on this darn project.. so shouldn't I be able to crap without feeling constipated?


Wednesday, December 01, 2010


Yesterday as I was waiting for the lights to change.. it suddenly occurred to me to just step out into on-coming traffic. What would happen? What would change? What if I don't die but was warded in hospital? Would someone ring my parents to let them know? What if I lost mobility, or worse, became paralysed for life? And what if I died? Would someone realised I had a half-completed (ok, only 1/3 completed) discussion chapter.. and that my thesis is that close to being finished? Would someone finish it for me? Isn't that how it is for half-written scripts?

Does coming up to the finishing line makes one feel like dying? If so, what is the purpose of 'the end'? Makes the whole journey seems a bit.. meh~

Though if things went 'splat'.. I guess there would be no more opportunities to eat Ganache's cakes.. no more visiting places I haven't been but have been planning to go for so long.. no wearing the clothes bought but yet to see the day of light.. no more time with family... and poor little Moka.. Mmm.. guess I should just get back to writing the thesis.