Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Thesis Abstract

I think it's finally quite finalised.. unfortunately "it" is not the thesis, just the abstract. But it's better than nothing! So here "it" is, for your kind perusal:

Still on the Margins: Race, Media and the Imagining of Contemporary Malaysia

Since independence, Barisan Nasional (‘National Front’) has been the primary provider of resources for the “imagining” of the Malaysian nation. However, instead of fostering a national commonality, “race” was adopted as the primary basis through which social identity and entitlement are structured, prompting the commonplace belief that Malaysians are ethnocentric by default. The 2008 general election results suggest a transformation had taken place, given the significant numbers of voters who looked beyond “race” in their preference of political parties and candidates. In turn, new media emerged as a core component contributing to the “political tsunami”. To evaluate to what extent (and how) have new media developments, and the impact of globalisation, contributed to shifting discourses and politics of identity in contemporary Malaysia, this dissertation analyses news reports on the 2008 general election, as covered by The Star and Malaysiakini and also, data collected from focus groups with 40 young Malaysians across three Chinese independent high schools. Instead of perpetuating secular nationalism, this thesis finds both media to be consistent in the reproduction of racialised discourses. Likewise, racialised language was extensively used by young Malaysians as the cognitive basis for action. In the process, the ideology of ketuanan Melayu (‘Malay dominance’) as a “natural” part of “common sense” is reproduced, which further underpins the perceived existence of a racial hierarchy. If formal and informal discourses are predisposed to reference “race” as oppose to secular (national) labelling, this can contribute to discriminatory consequences – exclusive entitlement for some, and entrenched disadvantage for others.

Will be presenting/defending my thesis 2 November 2010 (Tues) at approximately 4.15pm - assuming the presenter before me is mindful of time! So wish me lots and lots and lots of luck the presentation goes well~!! Come cheer if you've got nothing better to do~~ LOL!

Thursday, October 21, 2010

No, We're Not There Yet

Since Mon, or Tues? Losing track of time and days.. might have been as early as last week, I've been feeling extreme lightheadedness, to the point where my skull feels ready to topple forward into the computer screen. Which would suck, considering how 3yrs+ of work is currently housed inside.

The headaches come and go, but the dizziness remains. Sleeping same hours, but resting less. Dreaming of people dying. Then waking up and someone else has died. And then waking up again. For real this time.

Tiredness and frustration are growing like tumours. Panic attacks come rushing from nowhere and even as I felt my chest closed and heaved, I screamed anyway. Maybe I'll feel better. At least I would have to let in oxygen to scream. So I scream and scream and scream so hard and loud until my throat hurts. And then I force myself to cry. But the tears won't fall. So I scream into the floor. And then I tried to cry again.

Now I'm exhausted. My mind is telling me to go hurt myself.. Jump off the building. It's faster. So tempting not having to ever write or do a damn thing anymore. But what if, just in case, I don't die?

One moment. That's all it takes. The opened balcony door is looking more and more appealing.