Supervision: Not Bad.. but Not-So-Good Either =(

Perhaps I should have come home right after supervision and penned my thoughts down so I wouldn't forget.. but really, who in their right mind would want to remember feelings of dejection and disappointment? Not me.

But then again, I suppose if I don't record the bad stuff down, I won't be able to look back in say, 6months time and say, "Demn, but despite all that sh*t, I made it out alive".

And it does seem, if you re-read my past notes regarding the PhD journey, that all has not been well. If anything, (since my er.. you-know-who left) the days and weeks and months have been plagued by much anxiety, lack of sleep, more anxiety and lots and lots of worry.

After watching about 10mins or less of Bear in the Big Blue House, I decided I will try not to use 'stress' so much, because really, how can one consider writing a thesis stressful, when comparatively, life is so much more worse out there for the poor peeps without a roof over their heads? Instead, I shall attempt to use the word 'worry' more, because that's probably a more correct reading of what I'm feeling right now. I'm worried. Like, "Oh, I am oh-so-worried about whether I can finish the paper by the due date", or if you like, "Oh, I'm worried whether my (current) supervisor will ever approve this chapter stumble upon this blog", and so on and so forth.

But anyways, though it seems like I've hit rock-bottom, I guess, to be optimistic, at least it's rock-bottom so the only way to go now is "up, up, up". And if I allow myself to be a little less harsh, I could even admit that yes, it's true supervision wasn't as eer.. 'good' as I hoped, but at least it definitely wasn't 'bad' either. I just need to, well, take a deep breath and start drafting the chapter again. There is really so much more work to be done, but at least when it's all over, I can rest easy knowing I've done the best I can possible due.

Awww, now ain't that the most corny way to the end the post?

Mayday arrives in 19days! Jump!

Tagged

Nat nat tagged me.. so here's a random post.. lolz

The rules:

1) Go to your photo files, select the 8th photo folder.
2) Select the 8th photo in that folder.
3) Post that photo along with the story behind it.
4) Then challenge 8 blogging friends to do the same!

The pic:



The story:

Now this is a weird one.. because it's a weird pic.. bet you can't tell what it's all about.. =p

Anyways, it was taken in Penang's Peranakan Museum.. a little touristy spot I visited with my brother + Vincent when we were in Penang.. duh.. I was there to do my fieldwork - interviewing Penang high school kids, and the guys were there to be my bodyguard and driver, respectively. Hahaha.. =p But we had time to spare.. to visit Weilin (who was posted there then) and other random spots. I remember the museum was really fantastically well maintained, and our guide - you see his face on the pic - was really knowledgeable and super friendly.. Ah, this does bring back memories.. =)

And well, not gonna bother to tag people la.. cos I doubt anyone will do it.. HAHAHA.. Ok, ok, seriously now, back to the books!!!!

Play2. The Swimming Club + Play3. Madagascar

It's very late April now.. so not sure if there's much sense in reviewing/reflecting on Play2 and Play3 since they occurred in early February and March respectively... obviously the lateness is one thing.. and the other... well.. I forget. No pun intended =p

But since I didn't go for any production in April, I guess I could spare a few moments to update the blog (instead of writing my thesis that is). So here we go~

Anyone fancy a cuppa on the beach?
Play2 was interesting.. or would be interesting if you were 50 and on the verge of retiring and/or having a mid-life crisis.. which I guess, if the play was to be believed, are mutually non-exclusive.. You can't experience one without the other.. It's one of those plays that makes you think (a little) of how terribly sad growing old could be - divorce, infidelity, kids who talk back, friends who did so much better than you, kids who have a crush on a man/woman old enough to be their father/mother.. and so on and so on. No wonder people are afraid to grow old!!!

But then again... I guess the more optimistic message could be, it's not so bad if you have someone to grow old with. *cue awww moment* In any case, the plot explains why the crowd was 98% oldbies... they obviously had a ripper of a night!

While the Swimming Club is ok-ok.. not too dark.. not too light.. but not quite right (in the mind) either.. Madagascar is 100% dark.. both plot and lighting-wise.. the only time I could properly make out the faces was when the lights went on as the cast bowed at the end of the play.. Yea.. it was that dark.. or dim.. though once a while the lights lit up.. as you can see from the pic below.. but it wasn't very often..

Sleeping on the floor: what happens when you disobey your mother
Er, anyways, back to the plot.. it was very twisted.. on the whole well-written.. but oh-so-very depressing.. To put things into perspective, the play asks, "what happens to the people left behind, when someone close to them disappears without a trace?"

Well.. the answer, it would seem, is that everyone goes crazy.. you may live in denial.. in hope, or even in anger.. but ultimately everyone goes mad.. and in the process, they get very, very, very lonely. So, disappearing is really the "sweetest revenge" if you were totally pissed off at your family.. I'm not quite sure if I agree.. I mean.. won't the person who disappear get lonely too? But I guess, well.. I won't know the answer til I disappear myself... so well.. on the whole I came out feeling depressed.. who wouldn't with an ending like this: the sister left behind commits suicide, the mother dies of grief.. and the mother's lover lives on with a heavy, heavy burden/guilt for allegedly being the catalyst for the brother's disappearance. Sigh.

Anyways, that's that for Play3 and Play 4. I would write more.. but I got my thesis to finish.. and actually, a bunch of other stuff to blog about.. but that may not come til the next month or so.. let's see how supervision goes on Friday.. But anyways, speaking of May, I'll be watching two other plays: Play4. The Grenade:


which is supposed to be a satire, so let's hope it'd be funny/lighter for a change.. and Play5. Richard III:


which is a Shakespearean remake! with political twists and turns.. a dramatic drama, if the poster is to be trusted.. so we shall keep our fingers crossed that I won't get lost in the plot.

But then again, to be honest I'm doubtful I'll spend much blogging space on either.. more likely you'll see pics and pics of the MAYDAY UNLIMITED DNA 2010 CONCERT instead. ^o^ May 14. Only 22 days more to go!! so get reading to Jump!!!

^________^