As most of you already know, I got dumped by my (now former) principal supervisor.. and my associate supervisor has now taken over as principal. We are in the midst of appointing a new associate, which by next week? I should know the results. For the record, I'm perfectly OK with the swap, in fact, I sincerely believe with the change, I will be pushed and shoved? and highly pressured to finish.. simply because with my now current principal.. whom we shall initial D, is very good at putting (intimidating?) pressure.. whether he realised it or not.
And it's not necessarily a bad thing, considering how I do tend to slack a fair bit (loookies, I'm blogging!). And given that we are not that familiar with each other (in comparison with my former super), I believe the distance will really SHOVE me to write and keep our meetings direct and productive. Right now, it's not the carrot I need... though some scraps (of kindness and understanding) every now and then won't hurt...
Anyways, back to the supervision meeting, I learned that:
- I have a right to supervision. 5 months with absolutely NO PhD supervision is very, very, very, very (have I said 'very' already?) bad. You forget where you're going, you get side-tracked, you WILL feel neglected and hurt and a lot of other emo-ness.. and once you sink into a bottomless pit of self-pity.. you are likely to come to the point where you end up telling yourself, SHIT, I'm NOT going to finish on time.
- I should have said 'no' so many times and rejected all non-essential tasks. I should not be guilt-ed into doing what is really, not essential at this final stage of my PhD-hood.
- I have to take responsibility for my own PhD because really, that's my job. Even though I like to blame my former supervisor for wasting? the last 5mths of my life, I can't. Because I did not say 'no' when I should have. And really, I'm an adult. So I should know better than to blame other for my own f*cked-up.
- I do not have time to wallow in any more self-pity. I will do my great big cry AFTER I'm done writing... in the meantime, I will try to be strong, and just write.
- Thank the gods for Mayday and their inspiration lyrics.