Sunday, July 22, 2012

Life. It's Complicated

More than 365 days have passed since I last posted a blog entry. Much have occurred since.

First and perhaps most importantly, I finally passed my PhD and graduated =)

Secondly, I have a job.

Not a teaching job as one might expect upon completion of a PhD, but a job in corporate communications, looking (mostly) into social media. The corporate Life has been incredibly busy, yet incredibly exciting and rewarding. So Life, well, yes, it remains complicated. But I won't complain; at least I'm having fun =)

Friday, June 03, 2011

just because

because sometimes all you need
is a pat on the head
a little hand in yours
a toothy smile
and the world can be beautiful

because sometimes all it takes
is to look up
shoulders straight
walk on bravely
and the world can be safe

because sometimes that's all you get
no more no less
but just enough
to get you by
and the world can move on

Monday, May 23, 2011

Wasting Away..

Since I submitted my thesis end January and returned to Negaraku, life has been plenty erratic and full of (unnecessary) drama. Besides the mundane 'what am I going to wear for CNY' and the dramatised relationship break-up/make-up.. February to April also included the very stressful and uncountable trips to the hospital as well as the 'will I ever finish that #$^& paper?' question which more or less drove everyone in my household crazy.. with that said, I'm just grateful the first quarter is finally behind me.. >.<

Unfortunately not everything that happened back home has been resolved, but well, that's another post for another day..

To get back to narrating my life, with May coming to an end and June creeping up on me.. I regret to say my life is still very much stuck in the rut. I'm /still/ waiting for the Research School to get back to me on my results (it will be four months come 29 May) so until then, I can't even begin to plan revision, re-submission, thesis printing and the biggest event of all: graduation.

Despite the very bad news (I hate waiting for things to happen), I have been keeping myself busy (and my CV looking sharp!) with RA work. So that covers my waking hours during the day. I'm also working on editing thesis material for publication. Unfortunately (gods, there are lots of 'unfortunate-ness' in this post) writing papers is not much fun.. so progress has been painfully slow. I aim to get back to the paper once I publish this post.. so hopefully that will be very soon.

You know, I really believed that my life would be drastically different once I submitted, but it doesn't seem to have changed much to be honest. Unless of course you count the fact that I've become incredibly lazy and stupid in the last 2-3 months =( Besides sleeping in more often, I've also neglected to give my brain any intellectual work-out so I suspect it's starting to rot.

All in all, I fear my my life has gotten from bad to worse. It certainly isn't any more glam, and fame and fortune continue to elude me. I suppose I ought to get published first and stop complaining.

If you've lasted this long, please excuse my depressing post. It's gloomy and cold outside and I didn't sleep well last night.

But let me leave you on a more positive note: I've recently signed up for a Tumblr account (links on the side bar) mainly so I can squeal over Benedict Cumberbatch =D Occasionally I might post stuff unrelated to The Cutest Human alive on Tumblr, but most likely the rants will continue over here. So if you can take another shot at my whining, do come back and visit soon =D

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Thesis 101

I often stumble when I get asked what my thesis is all about. Not because I don't have an answer, but because I still hadn't figured out how to concise 90,000+ words of material into a single sentence.. But I suppose now is a good time as any to try to simplify?/explain just what I've been up to for the past 3.5years.

In a nutshell, I examine "the circulation of 'race' in formal and informal discourses, and the consequences, if any, of such circulation in contemporary Malaysia".

To be more specific, I investigate to what extent 'race' is used in Malaysia's printed and web-based news sources, as well as in daily conversation.. and from the data gathered, I then discuss the consequences of what happens when 'race' is used daily, regularly, consciously and without question.

Is my topic contentious? I suppose on many levels it is.

Is my topic new and novel? Visit any kopi-tiam and you'll know it's not.

Is my topic worth exploring? Turn on your TV, pick up any newspaper.. listen to how your friends and family speak.. and you'll realise the urgency to address this topic.

And so the deed is done. But as one professor pointed out, knowledge is useless unless it is shared. So that's kind of where I'm going at the moment.

I don't know how much interest my material will gather, but hopefully whatever interest that the material attracts, it will not be the kind of interest that will have me locked up on trumped up charges. On that note, and to answer your question, yes, I am afraid of being locked up. And you know what, I think my mom is more terrified than I am.

But do I regret writing my thesis? Well, what do you think?

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Starting Afresh

It's been a long long while since I've last blogged.. blogging used to be my outlet to vent and rant about how tough things were going. And when things went a wee bit better than expected.. which wasn't very often.. this blog was the place to plug a happy note... But with my candidature drawing to a end.. blogging simply ceased to become a priority, as one can easily surmise by the lack of updates.

But the thesis wasn't the only thing that affected my will (or ought I say 'interest') to blog.. with facebook and twitter and tumblr accounts popping up like wild mushrooms, it's almost as if the whole idea of blogging had gone out of fashion... but then again.. I suppose I've never been one to keep up with the times.. so I guess it'd be alright making a return to the blogosphere.. Maybe one day all that's written here will matter.. maybe they never will. But in the meantime, I think I'll continue plugging my thoughts to well.. whoever cares to venture over.. be it accidentally or otherwise.. >.<

So where shall I take you after the lengthy introduction? Will an update of my PhD suffice? I hope it will. Because well... I guess it is worth recording that despite all my worrying and crying and driving everyone crazy.. I finally managed to successfully submitted my thesis in late January 2011.. I've completely forgotten the exact date.. but it was just a few days before February 1. Thinking back.. I really can't remember if I was feeling relief or happy.. I might have been simply too exhausted and numb to feel anything. But I dare say I must have been feeling very very grateful that everything came together in its own weird way.

Now that the thesis is submitted, there is little one can do but wait. I'm not privy to who my examiners are, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed that they will be sympathetic to my stance and hopefully, in agreement to the points made in the document. I've been getting different answers as to how long the wait is for the results to come back. Some say 2 months, some say 4.. and some say it might take as long as 5 months. So I'm in no hurry to check the mailbox.. Maybe when May rolls over I'll start hounding the postman... in the meantime, I'm doing a couple of things I never thought I'd ever see myself doing - getting addicted (but just very very briefly!) to iPhone games and turning a wee bit brown from swimming. And when I'm not doing either.. well.. life simply goes on. But in a good way =)

So with the update said and done.. am I ready to dive back into academia/return to uni? To be honest, my answer is 'no.. not just yet.' But am I ready to propagate my thesis material and get stuff published? Hell yeah. So keep watching this space for updates =)

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Tuesday, December 07, 2010

Completely Exhausted

Submitted my 2nd thesis draft yesterday.. how badly delayed the whole PhD has been.. should have submitted the first complete draft in September, the 2nd in Oct, and had time for a 3rd and final reading in Nov.. but as it is, yesterday's paper was at least 20-30% short of completion.. Sigh.. =(

Taking a breather from thesis for the rest of the week to work on Platform.. it's hard to tell whether it's better to finish that 20-30% NOW and forget the journal paper.. or try to get the paper out anyways and hope the thesis won't suffer as much..

Wonder why it's hardest at the end.. shouldn't it be the easiest.. since I 'supposedly' have spent 3yrs+ on this darn project.. so shouldn't I be able to crap without feeling constipated?